Self Portrait in Shadow'd Perception

 

Another late afternoon
leaves me in shadow,
eyes heavy with the weight
of unshielded hurts
seen only in the seconds

of dusk
when the sun begins to descend
beyond the horizon line.

These charcoal greys,
a play of positive and negative space
fill my thoughts
in the narrow hours

of another day
slipping away,

waiting for the night to swallow
all that remains

unseen.

BAN December 26, 2013 4:35 pm

Simulacrum

A kaleidoscope image
with each experience another turn.

Pieces emerge more beautiful than the last.
An arras of complexity;
spectral colors
assemble a chromatic simulacrum
that is me.

Please handle with care
and always hold me to the light.

BAN © March 2008

Yellow Pinafore

The first dress I remember
was a yellow pinafore
I felt so pretty...

A series of dresses followed
ill fitting and awkward,
I tried to hide my skinned knees
my dirty hands...

and the smile I didn't really feel.

Today, the dresses no longer feel awkward
but they've grown in length
to keep things hidden,
things you found so easy to plunder

in shorter dresses...

and I still feel contempt
for the color yellow.

BAN August 2, 2013 11:23 am

Skinned Knees and Bumblebees

Innocence,

I don't remember innocence,
even in dreams,

a time when freedom
is a taken for granted
by most

to run in the grass,
skinned knees and bumble bees.

Funny how a memory will trigger
a spiral of thoughts,
feelings resurface
and I,

reminiscent of all that was taken from me.

My Mary Jane's ill fitting
for the adult I was forced to become
when I was still too young

to know what was right....

I wake with eyes wet,
just enough to catch the moonlight
to reveal the child still lives,

and waits for the one
who will love her...

BAN 2/16/13