Reverb

These thoughts within my mind,
is yesterdays reverb

needing an exit point
so I can begin again
with something new.

My knees are bruised,
tired prayers left unanswered,

my loneliness leads me astray,
in these moments of rare animation.
I draw you near,

only to push you away,
when the shadow falls.

These whispered psalms
become a desperate supplication,
in my hour of need...

will you be my saving grace,
or yet another failed attempt
to connect to something real...

to something meaningful.

BAN 1/25/13

Shaken not Stirred

I reflect on my life,
one thing stands out...

alone.

No friends,
family is strained.
No social life to speak of,

(no life to share)

few know anything about me
and yet, I seem to know
more about you

than you know about me.

Is it me?
Do I care more about others
than I allow them to care about me?
Do I push you away?

(or do you push me away)

I look away from the mirror,
reflection over...

I pour another drink,
shake the ice around

just to have sound in the room.

BAN

Pray for Rain

You tell me,
I am never alone.

Amber candle flickers
along my wall,
my shadow dances,

alone,

Where is your proof?

I speak,
no one answers,

I call out,
louder this time,
I am met with silence.

(silence)

It's all the proof I need,
I turn up the radio
sing another sad love song

and pray for rain.

BAN

Done

I can't do this anymore.

I smile a little too much these days,
for the benefit of you

and you, and you.

I want to believe good things come
to those who sow kindness,
your zen sayings

Rumi love
and Gibran wisdom
are lost on me.

I do the next right thing,
I open my heart to love,
I extend kindness and compassion

I give far more than I ever take,

and here I am alone.

I guess karma is a bitch,
the joke is on me,

(and all this time,
I thought you were laughing with me).

BAN