The Lines That Tie

When these sighs
no longer draw your lies
with finger pressed

between the ties
no longer binding,
you hold me firm

in the absence of your breath

ragged and calling my name.

Who's name is it
that now escapes through
your lips,

is she written in permanent ink
across black and white print

or was that another lie
to keep me coming

back to watch yet another
hold you at rapt attention
standing tall

begging for ego driven
catch and release...

BAN March 14, 2015 11:36 am


The lines that tie, even when severed, are taut with the weight of all that could have been. 

Denial

I cut off all my hair,
in this,
the last act
to feel something.

I run my fingers through
what is left,
face flushed with fever
eyes bright

and still

the tears will not fall.

BAN

Is It Ever Easy?

Is it ever easy?

I remember a time
when it was.
This world
has a way of breaking a life

(a heart)

and love should be easy
to give

(to accept)

to share without consequence
without strings.

We are the sum
of our parts

(our past)

and by the time I find you
I compete against the elements
of those who came before

and I wonder what (or is it who)
 could have done such damage.

I catch myself in the mirror
to see much of the same.

(what are we doing?)

Is love meant for all, or just those
lucky enough to find it

(deserve it)

and where does that leave us...

BAN

Done

I can't do this anymore.

I smile a little too much these days,
for the benefit of you

and you, and you.

I want to believe good things come
to those who sow kindness,
your zen sayings

Rumi love
and Gibran wisdom
are lost on me.

I do the next right thing,
I open my heart to love,
I extend kindness and compassion

I give far more than I ever take,

and here I am alone.

I guess karma is a bitch,
the joke is on me,

(and all this time,
I thought you were laughing with me).

BAN

Rejection

My defenses,
I let them down

(I let you in).

I told you things,
I now regret

secrets let out
and where did they go...

(what will you do with them?)

I didn't want to think
you would let me down,

(even if it didn't work out)

Love,
perfect as is,
but is it enough?

I hear you say,
let's be friends...

(and you never speak to me again).

BAN

Pushing Daisies

This house
and the memories it holds...

macabre music plays
upon the floorboards
steps taken
bemoan the weight

of what is lost.

Life once lush
quickly slips out
upon the ghost

of love

(or is it hate).

Dead to the waking
even I know
the meadow speaks

(calls my name)

leads me away
in mournful dance,
I wave my arms

sink below the surface,
maybe these little deaths

will push the daisies forth
for you to
pluck the petals...

(he loves me, he loves me not)

BAN

One

The flowers you sent
died today.

Petals fell
one by one
I began to count
lost in thought

the numbers no longer matter.

Days have gone by,
I cross off the calendar
pages turned

months, years

love given
not returned

and still I love.

(love you, and you, and you...)

What is it worth
when none accept

what good is this love

with another month gone,
(another page turned)

one may be the loneliest number
but one is the only number

I can truly count on.

BAN

From the Inside

I let you in,

(inside, outside
outside, in)

let you feel me,
let you bask in the light
and warmth of who I am.

I welcomed your attention,
I knew I shouldn't

wanted your closeness
wanted a like mind
and someone who understood.

I let you down,
or did you let me down?

I guess it doesn't really matter,
you have shut me out
I felt the push...

(outside, inside
inside out)

I am met with silence
the door has closed
and I have locked it

from the inside.

(inside, outside
outside, in)

BAN